Hello, and Happy St. Patrick’s Day! I hope you all find your four-leaf clover today! Who doesn’t love a little Irish luck?
Now, let’s review last week’s newsletter topic. I told you about a phone call I received from Sondry, an assistant principal from the West coast I’d met a few years back. She had been non-renewed at the last minute, a decision that confounded her. Upon deeper reflection, she was able to see that she and her principal had never discussed the expectations for her role.
That omission led to a lack of trust.
The lack of trust led to a dysfunctional partnership.
The dysfunctional partnership led to an experienced administrator losing her job.
When Sondry lands a new job, she will need to make sure the conversation about expectations occurs—not just once, but on an ongoing basis.
In fact, this can be discussed soon after a job offer is made.
Below are three categories of prompts that Sondry (or anyone in a new leadership role) can use to ensure they never find themselves lost and confused about where they stand.
Since the "expectation gap" is usually paved with good intentions and bad assumptions, these prompts are designed to be ongoing. They aren’t about reporting for duty; they are about building a partnership with a colleague, supervisor, or teammate.
Let’s get started.
“What’s my Lane?” (Building a Partnership)
These questions help clarify who owns what, preventing the "stepping over each other" that Sondry experienced.
"What are some goals you’d like to achieve this year for the school to be successful, and how can my specific role most effectively support those?"
"In past partnerships, where have you felt there was overlap or confusion in roles? How can we define our 'lanes' early to ensure we aren't duplicating effort or upending each other’s decisions?"
"If a situation arises where we disagree on a decision in real-time, how would you prefer we handle it?”
Strategic Communication (“No Surprises”)
Sondry was genuinely perplexed that she was non-renewed, yet her supervisors felt they had provided guidance for improvement. These prompts ensure that feedback is not mistaken for "ideas" when they are actually mandates.
"How will I know—outside of a formal annual evaluation—if I am meeting your expectations? What does 'exceeding' look like to you?"
"I value directness. If you see me heading in a direction that doesn't align with your vision, can we agree to a 'real-time' feedback check-in?"
"When you give me suggestions or ideas for my growth, how should I distinguish between 'food for thought' and 'non-negotiable expectations'?"
Building Trust (Leadership Styles Uncovered)
These help build trust by clarifying the principal’s personal leadership style.
"What is the one thing that, if it lands on your desk without me telling you first, would frustrate you the most?"
"What are the 'unwritten rules' of this district or school that I should be aware of?"
"What does a 'win' look like for our relationship six months from now?"
When Sondry asks these of her new supervisor, she should take physical notes. It signals to the principal: I am recording your expectations. I am building a roadmap toward a successful partnership.
Sondry’s story is a tough one, but it’s a masterclass in the cost of silence. We often wait for permission to ask where we stand, assuming that no news is good news.
But in leadership, clarity is a gift you give yourself. Whether you’re stepping into a new office or trying to repair the one you’re in, don’t wait for the annual review to find the map. Start the conversation now. Trust isn’t magic. It isn’t something we find, or stumble upon, or will into existence.
It’s something that is created, clarified, and reinforced— one expectation at a time.
That’s all for now. For those of you on spring break, I hope you are enjoying some quiet time and a renewed energy to forge through the rest of the year.
For those of you still slogging through March with spring break not yet in your grasp, keep going. Time always does its thing.
xo
Jen